What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 17.06.2025 02:25
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
I had hoped to write a book about this .
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Which country has the best and strictest legal system in the world?
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
What are the signs of covert narcissistic abuse that most people miss?
They are buried together, in the same grave..
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
I know ,a lot about trauma.
How can I fall asleep fast at night?
When she asked me how she looked .
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Why is it important for Hollywood celebrities to come out against Trump?
One cannot live in the past .
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Spiraling with ChatGPT - TechCrunch
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
All the time i was locked up.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
So whats the point in blame.
Which one is better to guys, boobs or butt?
Why did i forgive my father ?
I will be 64.
I said to her
Why was Boromir corrupted by the One Ring, but not Faramir in The Lord of the Rings?
Especially a lifetime of it.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
If you received hand-me-downs as a child, how did they make you feel?
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Would this be the day?
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
Ive learnt so much.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
What nonsense did you hear today in India that made you laugh?
He was dying to do it , i knew.
We were not on the streets..
I waited trembling.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
I did it because my mum asked me too!
My mum and dad in the seventies!
She married twice! .
She was in good health!
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
My life is so biszare .
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
What did i know ?
I couldn’t, believe it.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
As i do to all so called friends.?
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
I never cut or harmed myself..
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Comes on , in middle age.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
It was going to be , some day.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Was to survive, this bastard.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
This is soul school!.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
My family never makes their pension either.
He knew the spot.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
We all went to grammer schools
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
So, i spoilt her more .
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
He resisted the act ,that day.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
I was scared of men, in general
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
But ive been too sick for many years..
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
She wouldn,t have been !
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
I think the readers, may guess!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
I have no regrets .
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I write beautiful poetry .
She loved him until the end.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
I don,t even have a pension.
Put me off passion for life!!
Who then, do I blame.?
She found it foreign!.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I was seconnd youngest,
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
But it wasn’t much.
I was 9 years of age.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
And i lived it daily.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Im still living with it.
I was very sick at this time too.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
But, we were locked up after school.
(And it was in our own minds.)
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
I could never make a relationship work though!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!